Let’s buy some timeshare

Like many a friend before me, I went and got my real estate license. Mostly because “you just never know“… the most common over-arching, compelling reason given, according a handful of agents. With curiosity, I ask what this means. I’m assured that the chance is real. Any real estate salesperson can hit it big — sell a lot of houses and make a boatload of money. OK..I get it, an elite club.
So I went through the tedious process of studying new stuff in my 50s, which has layers of “I don’t have the same focus” to getting mad at the content as if to say most of this can’t possibly be necessary.  But I did it, and thankfully, I passed! So a little relaxation at the nail shop is now in order…gotta plan my future with a pedicure! There, sitting next to me, dipping her toes in bubbly warm water was my old friend Linda Alvey! Real estate? “Don’t mess with that, sell timeshare, they make a lot of money and don’t have to schleShopping womanp signs around in high heels!” Timeshare, interesting. And so before I wasted any more time trying to figure it out I was standing in front of beautiful property on the beach, preparing to interview in my lucky, tight gray pencil skirt.
Barely into my work history, I heard “you’re hired!” — and within moments I was now brand new sales rep who is going to make a lot of money. That’s what they said. My primary role is to sell a lot of timeshare to the unknowing. Yes, it’s true… folks barley get what’s going on — but one thing they DO know —is a free gift awaits them after two hours of listening to a blathering about lifetime vacations. This is going to be good.

In life I know nobody really promises things if it isn’t true right? And, I’m good at talking people into stuff. So I’m ready to be good at this. Vacations are easy to talk about anyway.

vollyball net in waterIt’s 8:00 am, and here we sit…just like the sitcom The Office. Big room, characters sitting around waiting for the grunion to run, or the next thing to happen. Each one us silently hoping for a ripe, tasty one to come rolling in… fun, wiggly, happy, young and ready to see the world, and most importantly ready to buy.
But a steady stream of signer-uppers is not to be. The promise of excited couples with great credit, a stream of families dying to take their first cruise or a vacation at “huts over the water” in Tahiti are few and far between. What IS real is an array of worn, cranky, mean and troubled spirits sitting before me, arms folded tightly across the body — eyeballs bouncing regularly at the clock and wristwatch, as if to calibrate the timepieces to ensure not one minute is lost. These are important, busy people, giving up 2 hours to get a free gift for God’s sakes. That in itself shows how important they must be to the world! My goodness, I need to settle down.  “Are you OK with 2 hours?” I begin. There is the look, a look that says, “well, if I have to, but hurry it along.”
And so I continue to dance and sing, pull out the hula hoop if necessary to entertain, convince, influence, and twist arms as a finale. And still no dice. Seems the “dice” was to be super rare, sort of the exception. But yet, most of this group show up every day with the hope that someone will step forward and say, OK! I’ll do it!
This run was a fun, short, and telling, and corny, and mostly misleading, which makes me wonder, why. Why not tell it like it is. Looking back, I liked falling in love with a new set of people called co-workers. People linking arms in a sinking ship, everyone there under the same…somewhat false pretenses. Friends are real…so is learning a little more about ourselves and about people, and just a little about timeshare!

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