After a quick airplane ride to Hawaii recently, I observed just how quickly we have jumped from the plight of the overly-endowed passenger (i.e., spillage of their bodies into our seat space) to the trials and tribulations of defensive moms and dads who often need to take little ones along a flight. From the instant these poor parents board the plane they realize their vulnerability to stares, head-shaking, sneers, or even being subject to complaints to the captain (the guy driving the plane)! The problem? Their sweet babies are not very fond of flying and love to verbalize it!
But…”WE HAVE NO WHERE TO GO” – no place to rock the baby! Hard to believe, but that’s what parents say bugs them the most. True, we haven’t built a special on-board annex for screaming children yet, but moms, give it time – the airlines have been put on notice by agitated passengers to DO SOMETHING, please! I don’t know…maybe ‘adding on’ is the answer to the mile-high baby crisis.
I must admit though, I am NO fan of getting my seat kicked – over and over while dad sits there with X’s for eyes ignoring Junior’s romp into doing what ever the heck Junior wants.
My problem is I’ve turned into one of those onboard crankers who wants peace and tranquillity when cruising the skies! I know, it’s bad! I just think nothing says serenity like a pair of oversized kid shoes beating the back of my seat ’til coffee splashes up in my face. Somehow it doesn’t seem as cute as it once was. Maybe it’s me.
I’m also bugged by the joyous sounds of screaming and crying at 35,000 feet. Try drifting into a relaxing slumber after a long business trip only to wake to the sound of a high-pitched toe-curling screech pumped into your ears. Did someone pinch the baby? What the hell, rows 10-22 are wide awake now!
The thing is… flying sucks, but, all in all the solutions are actually quite simple. Dear airlines: put the moms/dads/kids in a certain section of the airplane! That’s a duh. Let the little ones hang over the seats to see, touch, and giggle with the other little ones, let babies entertain each other while non-baby passengers enjoy the ride. When the darlings’ lungs kick into high gear, get your phone or iPod out and drown it out with your favorite playlist. That also seems like a no-brainer to me!
Next – the trouble with airports: Why are they freezing cold? Is it to sell more coffee and blankets? Why aren’t there enough elec. plugs for our junk? Why aren’t there places to sleep? People are gonna sleep, so make a place for them so they don’t use up 3 chairs.